Lion baby steps

Our lion is almost done. That's right, CROTCH continues to churn out those animation assets despite being swamped with work that brings in the real dosh (not like this art palaver). I'm contemplating a logo change, however, as the current one looks like it belongs to a landscaping business. My line of thought in creating it was "wilderness, bits of wood, leaves, round thingy and, umm, yeah... shit we're out of beer". It pays to think about these things beforehand. Next up, a pack of African Boobies. Before that, though, I may attempt a trial run on After Effects to see if this thing holds well together. Work in progress will be posted on Youtube.

HANDROLLER EXCLUSIVE!!

THIS is where it all happens. The Control Room of Great Things, or as it is affectionately abbreviated, CROTCH, is the source, the ground zero if you will, of all the mediocrity I sparingly provide to all you out there in the super information cyber highweb sub-etha singular happenstance or something or other. Fitted with the state-of-the-art of 2002, CROTCH now serves a sundry bunch of people, most whom I've never met. Its roots stretch back to the year 1998 when a man and his dog (now deceased and sorely missed) got it into their heads that it would be nice to occasionally eat and have a room of one's own.

JapAttack!

My friend went to Japan recently and all I got was... HEY WHERE THE FRACK IS MY T-SHIRT!?!

Only joking :) This subway sign of dubious authenticity was what she brought back. The unwavering Japanese translation method of "string words together and hope for the best" is probably one thing I would single out as my fave cultural idiosyncrasy. I'll be playing 2 gigs in Osaka in January, so I might pick up a few more. In the true tradition of mucking about on Saturdays, here it is as speech balloonized by yours truly.

Baby Rhino Steps

Currently story-boarding the intro for the Top Gear sendup, Wild Gear. Also, here's a rhino that will feature in the first few seconds of the intro. I didn't think much about the animation rig to begin with, so I may have to rethink this, although to begin with, all the character will do is chew with a deadpan look on its face.

Next up, a leopard or lion. Preferably a lion to avoid all the spotty coat work. I want to stay in the savanna, but who knows, Jeremy's always going places. Might hit the arctic for some penguin action. I have high hopes for this.

Doggy spec work

Trawling the depths of other freelance sites now after vWorker (formerly known as rentacoder.com) has, I am convinced, effected some sort of backend function to shut me out. Bid upon bid is not getting through to buyers and I'm losing out to talentless and hungry third-worlders in their droves. To get a foot up on these new venues, I'm doing some spec work to earn a little street cred. While I loathe it, I'm convinced that half of all labor currently under employment on planet earth somehow makes time between their arduous tasks to design a logo here and a banner there, perhaps being cut so much slack that they're even able to muster up a full-color painting by day's end. Where have these people come from? Poverty! Take their PC's and their motivation away or I'll never make rent at this rate.

IN THE WORLD

My new thing that I probably won't get around to doing is to create a little animated intro and parody for the British petrol-head pastime, Top Gear. A nice twist might make it worthwhile. I think it would be funny to have Hammond, May and Jazza marching through the Savannah talking shop about animals.

"Now THIS is the Cheetah. It's more pristine and sleek in comparison to its predecessors AND it also has one little improvement over it's evolutionary forebears. This Cheetah (pause in the middle of sentence) is the fastest Quadro Gambe...... IN THE WORLD".

And then having them go round their track, perhaps. The Stig might just be some African fellow wearing a loincloth and a crash helmet. We'll see.

The drawing didn't quite pan out, but it was finished in about 45 minutes and the man does have a jelly bean for a head. Gimme a break.

Bleh, Meh, and just plain fuckity fuck

The shimmering heat and nary another sign of summer in this god forsaken basement apartment is worryingly depressing. This, coupled with very little regular human contact and a short supply of inspiration is not paying dividends and dropping me down a few 'new lows'. It's fracking July, kids, and I'm shacked up (or down) here while people are trouncing around the globe on their wondrous, albeit to me quite pointless, excursions; having affairs with seagulls and petting squirrels who were there at Auschwitz while drinking Hefeweissen with carrot pulp. I can't even make any discernible plans other than the usual weekend pisser because I know I won't have the means to go through with it - as evidenced by the inevitable money-call I now regularly make to daddy whenever panic sets in at the end of the month. Bless that man. With all this weighing on my mood, I am now thinking of pepping up my self-promotion, improving my net presence, and sexing up my social media thingy. Good bloody luck with THAT!

To this end, however, I am reluctantly perusing some of those excruciatingly upbeat blogs that give you 10 reasons/tips/headbutts/kisses/anecdotes/hickeys or whatever in the hope that something, pernicious or beneficial, might rub off on me. In my state, I might benefit from entertaining the delusion that they are ejaculating pro bono gold dust in the face of anyone who cares to listen. This might get me through the day, and that may just be all I need. Because, suspended disbelief willing, there's enough material to get me inspired and excited till I'm stone cold dead with my face pressed against the contents of the old colostomy pouch. The better ones even have their own podcasts (radio with more transistors) where they have some big cheese from the industry harping on about the days when an HB pencil was considered "technology". All this somehow comes back full circle to you having to hear about their new book, you guessed it, 10 things you should know before dot dot dot dot.

In the spirit of gloom-proof blogging tippery, then, here's mine:

10 Reasons Why You Should Bone Your Dead Grandmother:

1. She may have been buried with her valuables.
2. It's just one more way of dealing with grief.
3. She was asking for it (this goes in the report).
4. The acoustics make for an eerie podcast.
5. Because it might be outrageous enough for this 10 reasons business.
6. You might get Oatmeal's attention.
7. Novel and edgy tweets are in short supply.
8. Chuck Norris said so.
9. Necrophilic booty call.
10. Yes We Can.

With the unrelenting wish that you step on a box jellyfish miles away from any discernible shoreline and a menacing confusion is the last thing you feel. Tata.

Scissorpeds

Just a quick sketch of a design for a simple and quirky robot in 3d. I may want to eventually incorporate more household objects to its anatomy, eventually posing it on my filthy desk and wishing there was cheap 3d printing available down the road. Silicon-gun, anyone?