Naughty comeback

Just got to sketching in pencil. Next thing I know, BAM! I'm seeing blue. It could have gone either way to be honest. Nice to be able get something out, even if it does espouse a bit of self-indulgence and pointless misogyny.

Walking

I took a hike. Got a few shots. Armed bloke in front of some embassy told me to push off. I took off. (is this what they call a haiku?).

The handroller needed a dust off.

The HOLE PUNCHED FUCK SHEET

Inspired by Melissa McEwan's article on Grauniad's Comment is Free section. Maybe inspired isn't the right word. Bah! Either way, thanks to Dr. Kinsey for ridding us of this awful boudoir practice.

Beaten but not out

Meet ELM. He was gonna be in Pixar's ELM-E. Sadly, the producers decided to go with something that had robotic limbs and wiggly eye flaps (fuck you john lasseter, I know where you live). This desk sharpener is probably the most worn and beaten thing in the house if you discount my pulmonary system and that steak knife noone seems to throw away. Nice how MY trusty Canon 550d captured it, with it's layer on layer of texture, rust and general batteries-not-includedness (80s film about old people and electric razors coming alive). I threw it a milkbone, but it just bounced off and fell on the floor. I tsought it VUD VOLK! FEGERLEIN!

iFES

A slow month at CROTCH. Idle hands doing idle things. And what to do with those apple stickers? You could always revolutionize the way mankind drinks.

I'm here all week.

Bad Room Render

What's wrong with this picture? Just about everything. It flatters an otherwise suffocating interior that's more crackhouse than the simple leisurely corner depicted here. Mind you, the armchair is quite spot on.

Other notes: slightly low ceiling, obvious chamfers around the bay window, unrealistic paint job (needs additional cracks, specularity maps), the fabrics used require more wrinkles and folds, need to convey the mess I'm sitting in the midst of as I write this.

Stationery Week

Yes, it's stationery week! And that can only mean one thing. Money! Tons of it. I mean what do you think we're doing out here. -- Pulled from the memoirs of Sam Rothstein

Rockin'

Ah, business. The state of being busy. The upside is that you're whiling the time away without effort. If you're in the zone, you can beat depression, grief, and anything else that might be snappin' at your ass. This has been a dreary and awful year for me. And yet my output has been somewhat unexpectedly prolific. Thriving neath pendulous dark clouds is not a trait I thought I had, but it's nice to know I have a little salmon in me. Today we're Rockin'.

Woe is me

After a spin kick to the teeth from istock yesterday, I am trudging on. Three of the four files I had submitted just before the weekend went in the bin. This is very discouraging. I stand by my output and believe it to be considerably better than a sizable portion of the vectors produced on istock (albeit, there are some masterful contributors) People seem to be getting away with atrocious submissions, e.g. really badly auto-traced photos, amateur cartoons with poor stance and silhouettes, pathetic line weights, naive uses of gradients etc. So I thought I'd clean up some of my earlier work and make it legacy compatible to avoid the upload-rage.

Holiday Stock

Still churning out some possible candidates for stock uploads. Here be some design elements that just felt they needed to get away from it all. And they did.

Monsters and Swirls

I'm getting my istock phreak on of late. Emboldened (as a terrorist), I have once again resorted to increasing my iota of a share from the site. This comes and goes when I'm browsing categories for inspiration and I come across a simple shiny web 2.0 candy apple icon that says: Downloads >12000 (tally it up on a calculator and you'll quit your day job) Funny thing is that once the F5 overhaul of the site went into effect, my downloads just came to a complete standstill. I will have to read up on what new features they've installed. For all I know there may be a default "I'm just a fucking idiot, please don't index my files" feature.