The HOLE PUNCHED FUCK SHEET

Inspired by Melissa McEwan's article on Grauniad's Comment is Free section. Maybe inspired isn't the right word. Bah! Either way, thanks to Dr. Kinsey for ridding us of this awful boudoir practice.

Beaten but not out

Meet ELM. He was gonna be in Pixar's ELM-E. Sadly, the producers decided to go with something that had robotic limbs and wiggly eye flaps (fuck you john lasseter, I know where you live). This desk sharpener is probably the most worn and beaten thing in the house if you discount my pulmonary system and that steak knife noone seems to throw away. Nice how MY trusty Canon 550d captured it, with it's layer on layer of texture, rust and general batteries-not-includedness (80s film about old people and electric razors coming alive). I threw it a milkbone, but it just bounced off and fell on the floor. I tsought it VUD VOLK! FEGERLEIN!